Marshalls Cave Part 2:

OVERVIEW

This trip promises to be so badass that I am going to lead it twice, both on Saturday and on Sunday.

Reasons you should come on this trip:

This is the first UVA outdoors caving trip in 4 years and there probably won’t be many after because this one will be so legendary and set the bar so high that no one will attempt to surpass our greatness.

This is the the second ever unguided trip. In the past trips have gone to the VAR speleological convention thing or something. Those wimps paid money to do what we’ll do by the sweat of our brow and the aching muscles of our back.

This trip is so badass and the cave is wild and secret that I HAD TO GO TO SPECIAL COLLECTIONS this morning just to figure out where the hell we are going. After I rapelled down the spiral staircase and disabled three elderly women, I poured through volume upon volume of Virginia Cave indexes from the mid-20th century.

Everyone should bring a razor and shaving cream for the Sam Beam beards we will grow in those few hours out of shear manliness. I am planning on pursuing a Taylor Rice style mustache.

Details are the same as the Saturday trip. If you are inexperienced at climbing you should sign up for the Sunday trip. I mean really really really inexperienced. Like you’ve never even seen a rock or climbed a ladder. The reason for this is that I will not have been in this cave on Saturday. I am 99 percent certain that nothing will be above the difficulty of a scramble but who knows.

Don’t forget the underwear.