Yeester on the Yeestern Shore

OVERVIEW

Shoreboy Jimmy and I are tired of these blasted mountains and need some salt back in our lives. The solution: We are headed back to the homeland, the Eastern Shore of Virginia, for Easter weekend where my parents will conveniently be out of town and so we will my have my house free to rage in.

You out-of-staters’ might be asking “What is the Eastern Shore?” don’t worry, the in-staters’ are asking the same thing. The Eastern Shore is a thin peninsula stemming off of Maryland connected to Virginia only by a 20-mile long bridge. It is left off of a notable percentage of maps of Virginia even though current governor Ralph Northam is in fact also a Shoreboy. It is rural, redneck-laden, and very very beautiful. If you don’t believe me check out what Outside Magazine, the sacred scripture of ODC, has to say (see #5 https://www.outsideonline.com/2274741/top-5-shitholes-visit).

We’ll be staying at my house in the town of Cape Charles which if I were to give colloquial directions would be “Down the Road on the Bayside.” And we are going to try to squeeze in as much frolicking and hooliganism as possible while there. Activities include but are not limited to: Sand dune shenanigans, Yakking off (for some reason my boss at the kayak shop refuses to make a t-shirt with this phrase), General beach lounging and revelry which will include some prime sunsets, and Staring into the zealous eyes of our new Gomer pup.

Da Plan: Leave as early as possible Friday (Thursday??) and set a course due East. The drive takes about 4 hours. Get as sandy as we can Saturday and have a contest for who can spot the most minors driving golf carts around town (a common occurrence). Spend as much time on Sunday in denial as possible and then finally submit to our obligations, bow our heads, and return.
Food will be a combination of us buying supplies and raiding my families cereal caches.

Whacha Need:
Sleeping Bags and Pads-some will get beds some will get floor.
General Beach Accessories- towels, bathing suit, arm floaties, etc.
Athletic Shoes
Whatever you need for an overnight but indoor trip.

Cost: ~$30 this will be a combination of paying for the exorbitant toll to get to the Shore and for food.

A note: My parents are letting us use the house and to retain this privilege for the future we are going to all have to clean up before we leave and not break anything. If anything happens to my mom’s stupid-ass couch she will flay all of us and upholster a new couch with our skin.

DRIVERS NEEDED!!! Drivers will get the utmost priority and a bed!